Saturday’s are usually hit and miss. Sometimes they are really slow and I have time to work on projects and get some busy work done. Other times, like today, everything goes sideways and I don’t know which end is up for hours on end. They either usually a total overload of Anxiety or just chill and relaxed. Well as much as I can relax I guess.
Anxiety Tracking: (see reference chart below)
Wake Up – Elevated – Knowing we are short handed for work today and wondering what is going to go wrong.
Morning – Elevated – Work morning went ok for the most part, but still have a bad feeling the bottom is about to drop out this afternoon. Just a sense you could say.
Afternoon – HIGH – the bottom did drop out, multiple work problems the rest of the afternoon, co-workers who are less than helpful, emails flying in, and everybody wants their issue resolved right away. Totally stressed, grounding skills barely doing anything. These are the days I totally dread!
Evening – Normal then Good – After work, and coming down from the Anxiety overload, my emotions evened out. I spent the evening with the kids and we wen to see a Monster Truck show. Even though it wasn’t quite what we expected in terms of popular trucks, it was still cool and we laughed a lot, and went half deaf. Yeah they are LOUD.
Bed – Pretty relaxed and I would say I’m between normal and Good…go figure!
Coping Skills used today –
- Music – Used this mostly in the morning to keep Anxiety at bay while working alone. Couldn’t use anything else because it was so busy.
Distraction Skills used today –
- Meditation, Calm breathing, feeling my presence in the chair. Trying to ground myself during afternoon work craziness. None of it worked though, not even a little. Just one of those times when I had to power my way through the stress. Felt completed exhausted afterwards.
- Dissociation – During the afternoon, I did catch myself zoning out for very short periods of time. I think my brain was in such overload it had to do something to ground me even just a little bit.
Random thoughts of happenings throughout the day
Did you ever get that feeling that something bad was about to happen, like an impending doom was just around the corner? I had that all morning and sure enough, coincidence or not, it happened. Total stressful afternoon, I could feel the frustration and Anxiety rising higher than I’ve felt in quite some time. It took a good 60 minutes of just resting my mind to come down from the stress after all work issues were resolved.
The evening though turned out to be pretty nice. Picked up a few more supplies for the new aquarium then spent the evening with the kids. I even laughed and carried on and didn’t think much about the events that happened earlier in the day. Dare I say I actually cut loose for a bit and had some fun! We were singing rock tunes, my son was hanging out the window being silly. These are the good times I try to always hold on to.
Outlook until the next session –
Even though work was rough, the day ended on a good note, but tomorrow there are no real plans so I suspect thoughts will be creeping up so we’ll see high the Anxiety gets. I have an uneasy feeling let’s leave it at that for now.
My normal state consists of parts of the Yellow section. General Anxiety, Fidgety, Restless, Forgetful, Negative Thinking, etc. When I do feel Good, it’s only temporary. My mind is always on something. On a bad day I’m either into the red or right on the border of yellow & red
Normal – Just into into Yellow, but knowing something could happen at anytime to send me into elevated status, is always on my mind.
Elevated – Close to border of Yellow & Red
High – Right on the border of Yellow & Red, if not just into the Red
Crisis – Definitely well into the Red.