I’ve tried to use Positive Affirmations in the past but it just hasn’t worked. I can sit here and tell myself all types of positive things, even leave notes on the bathroom mirror or in the kitchen. I can put reminders on my phone to say this or that, but I just haven’t been able to connect with them.
A big reason for this is simplay because they weren’t “me”. So therefore my mind is like, “yeah dude, whatever, go take that generic mumbo jumbo somewhere else.”
Personal Affirmations can work, as they have the ability to program your mind into believing the stated concept. – Psychology Today. That statement sounds good and if you read more of that article it gives you information about how positive affirmations can work for you.
What I’m finding out though, and literally within the last week, is that using generic affirmations doesn’t work for everyone. It certainly hasn’t worked for me.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my mind reacts differently than those who haven’t experienced some type of trauma in their past.
I’m not suggesting that everyone who is a survivor also feels this way, but it is quite common as I’ve found out in talking to many other survivors.
So telling me to say “I am going to be successful today”, “I am not going think negatively today”, or “Anxiety won’t rule my life today”, just goes in one ear and out the other. Again, it likely works for some and if so, more power to ya, rock on!
I need to read and hear things over and over for them to stick. Along with that, if I can’t connect with it I might as well not even bother. Knowing this about myself, I’ve decided to take a new approach and try this affirmations thing again but with a twist, using “Matt Speak”.
I invite you to watch my video below as I work through this and start to put the pieces of my new found attempt at reprogramming my brain, into motion. As part of a recent assignment, I’m taking this and making it my own and using affirmations in my own unique style. This way it will have a much better chance of staying put in my head and actually working.
Affirmations have worked, but they were very personal to me. Yet, I’ve had many times when they worked and they then didn’t. It was like I could not trick my mind into believing them and I actually believe that the way the brain stores things, it is not surprising. Making them personal is very important.
For a long time I did not accept myself or love myself. I finally played “How Can Anyone Tell You” by Shaina Noll for about a month in the morning when I got up and before I went to bed. I would try to sing along with it but usually was crying so hard, the words were hard to get out. I did it in the privacy of my home so no one could see me. I’ll tell you – that helped me tremendously and I see it as a form of affirmations.
I think at the right time and in the right way, they can be effective. I also believe the brain of a survivor is not easily tricked into believing something it doesn’t feel. Just my thoughts.
Well said Don, you are so right. Our minds are not easily convinced of anything positive when we are survivors. I know from my own experience I can’t just be all generic and boring with my affirmations. If I have any chance of making these things work, it’s got to be in a way that I can relate too. Either way, it’s not easy and not quick, but I have to think they are effective and can help us. If for no other reason than I’ve read too much and have seen real life people using them, so that inspires me.
Music, yes I can so relate to that. Great point man. Playing a song that inspires you and encourages, right on!!
Yay for Mia the Survivor Cat!
She’s a little sweetheart isn’t she? She just loves sitting on the desk, which is cool during a video but trying to type around her isn’t so easy! lol 🙂