It can be such a hard thing to embrace, to realize that every circumstance in life, no matter how good or bad, only lasts for a time. Life is a season…
Even though everything changes, it seems like the tough times last forever, with no end in sight. Conversely the good times are here and gone in a hot second. I mean seriously how frustrating is that!
The thunderstorms feel like they just keep rolling in, one after another, and our emotions are constantly being tossed back and forth and blown in every direction. Then, just when we think we are at our breaking point, we get to a calm spot.
The sun comes out, the wind dies down, birds start to sing, we take a deep breath and just relax. We made it through another crisis!
Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, any type of abuse, it can very hard for us to know that whatever circumstance we are currently in, won’t last.
There will be more trials ahead, and more times of peace. Times when we feel like we are in transition, or just kind of existing. Times when we are just spinning our wheels but not really making any headway.
I realize that this fluidity, this constant change, does not just pertain to survivors, but to everyone. For those of us that have been through hell and back in the form of trauma, we seem to be more keenly aware of the tough times and but not so much with the good times.
There is something that we can hold on to in the midst of a struggle. A realization that we are able to handle whatever is going to come up next, even if we don’t anticipate being able to do so.
We have 100% success rate of overcoming what’s been dealt to us.
I talked before about how positive affirmations need to be unique to us in order to be most effective, and this is no different.
Take that statement of, “We have 100% success rate of overcoming what’s been dealt to us” and phrase in a way you can relate too.
For me, I would say something like:
- “I’ve got a 100% success rate of overcoming the pain in the butt stuff”.
- “I’ve got a 100% success rate of overcoming a shit-tastic situation.”
- “This crap has been rough but I’ve survived it!”
- “I don’t know how in the hell I survived this long but I’m learning as I go that I am stronger than I realize.”
So how can we even say that? How is it possible that we have a 100% success rate in anything, let alone surviving so much turmoil and abuse?
Well for one thing, you are still, here right? You are sitting here reading this post. You are waking up each morning and living your life.
Don’t discount that as anything less than an amazing accomplishment. Everyday people take their own lives because they feel like they just can’t go on, but you friend, you are still here surviving.
You are a fighter, You are a Winner.
I realize that may sound totally counter intuitive and completely ridiculous to think you are a winner, that I am a winner. The truth is, that we are. We win every time we get up each morning.
We win each day we get up and go to work, or we get up and take care of responsibilities at home. We win every time we cook a meal for ourselves or our family, or we balance the family budget and manage to save a few dollars.
There are so many things that we can take for granted as just hum-drum, mundane things that “everybody else does too”.
These “wins” are so much more important for survivors, because we need every victory we can get our hands on. We deserve to celebrate every seemingly small thing because our life has been full of so many disappointments and trials.
See, it’s not about always “looking on the bright side”. To be honest I really can’t stand that phrase. It just seems like a run of the mill, generic, woo-woo type of response.
“Oh look at the bright side” …yeah yeah, shut up! I don’t want to hear about your bright side! Don’t tell me “things will get better” or that “things could always be worse”.
Give me something real that I can hold onto instead of a cop-out response like that!
It’s about the realistic side here, friends! The reality that we are waking up every day and refusing to give up.
- Are we going to get knocked down…yes.
- Are we going to take a step or two backwards at times…yes.
- Is life going to feel completely overwhelming at times…yes.
- Was being sexually abused something that has altered my life forever…yes.
Just because our lives didn’t turn out the way somebody else’s did, or in some “normal” way, doesn’t make us any less important. No less deserving of having a 100% success rate in overcoming what was dealt to us through no fault of our own.
We have more resiliency and fight in us that we, or others realize.
Feature image courtesy of Pixabay.com , other images credited in links or tags.
I struggle to remember this and sometimes I am ahead of this game and other times, but backside is getting kicked hard. One therapist used to constant tell me (remind me) “This Too Shall Pass” – and it does… but in the meantime, boy it can be as tumultuous as it gets.
As a suicide survivor, it is a BLESSING I wake up everyday. I have so much to live for. I have so much to see and do. While working on my own healing and recovery. In the hopes of maybe helping others realize that they are worth living for. That their life is precious no matter how bad the storm.
Thank you Matt for writing, yet again, such an inspirational post. You have no idea how much this post actually means to me. I have bookmarked and added it to my favorites to reference this when I start to feel like I am in a bad place. ?
Thank you for this today! I have been tossed by the winds the last few days and it has felt like 20,000 steps backward. Slowly getting into forward movement mode.