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Surviving My Podcast

Time to get Real and Vulnerable – Post & Podcast

by Matt Pappas

As survivors, it can be very difficult for us to be vulnerable.  To get real and honest about what our daily struggles are is quite scary. That means we are opening ourselves up to the world and letting them know what life is really like for us day in and day out.

As scary as that is, and I can relate all too well, I thought I would take this chance to do another podcast and share what’s on my mind and my heart.

I write in this blog regularly, I’ve done some YouTube videos, and I participate in survivor chats weekly. All of those things have been amazingly helpful, inspiring, and validating to me. I can’t imagine where I’d be today if it weren’t for those outlets to help inspire me to continue healing.

During a recent chat with a trusted professional and friend, this very topic of being real and vulnerable came up.  I mentioned how often I have tough days in my healing journey. The anxiety, the dissociation, random depression, triggers out of nowhere, the affects of PTSD in general in life really take their toll on me.

I’ve had more than a few people mention to me how inspired and validated they feel when they read this blog. How they are so grateful and amazed that someone can open up and be so real, and especially being a guy. I always tell them that I am honored and blessed to be able to write and share my life, and I feel good knowing that I am helping others.

During this conversation though, I was challenged to really open up and share some of my struggles either in a post on this blog or perhaps a podcast.  I think I’m going to do both, but I’m taking this opportunity to go the podcast method first. There’s something about using your voice that really hits home, even more so than typing. For me that’s saying a lot since I love to write so much.

I realize (although it’s still hard to admit) that I have been able to make some progress in healing over the last year and half or so. Be that as it may, my daily life is a constant struggle just to keep moving moving forward and stay above water so to speak.  The perfect storm of surviving childhood sexual abuse, bullying, and narcissistic parenting has left lasting effects on me.

Dealing with all of that takes every ounce of energy I have each day.  Some days aren’t so bad but no day is perfect and without some type of issue to deal with. I’m just like, struggling to survive and looking forward one day thriving on a regular basis.

So I hope you will feel encouraged and validated as I share some of the things that I struggle with every day.


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1 comment

Joy Richardson July 20, 2016 - 12:03 am

I didn’t really get a lot on the subject of vulnerability in this podcast, but I now have a better understanding of how much and frequently you struggle. I am sorry that you struggle on a daily basis, it does get better! I now go through days at a time without any struggle, no flashbacks, no negative thinking, no depression or anxiety. That does not make what I have gone through ‘ok’ but where I used to be crawling in my survivor journey I am now racing ahead! I’m so excited for you to get to that place in the future!


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