This was a day that overall I can’t complain too much about, thankfully. A few times of elevated anxiety and spacing out, but considering it’s normally a therapy day, I’m doing better than expected. Not great, but ok.
Anxiety Tracking: (see reference chart below)
Wake Up – Normal. No flashbacks this morning, which is good.
Morning – Elevated – Some issues at work to resolve that kept my busy and a bit stressed but nothing over the top.
Afternoon – Normal – Nothing out of the ordinary at work, I was able to work on some projects and a get lot accomplished today. I did Dissociate a few times in the afternoon, totally spaced out. I don’t think it was anything stress related though from the day, just what happens at times with me.
Evening – High then Good now Elevated – Yes I’m saying it was actually good for awhile! Here’s the breakdown: I was a bit frustrated right after work because I couldn’t find the keys to my parents truck I was borrowing for a project I decided to do, and they are in North Carolina right now. So after calling them and tracking down the keys that my brother stashed..ugh! I finally found them (high). I was then on my way and feeling better after a half hour (Good). Now that I’ve finished up that project for the time being, my mind went, “oh hey, you didn’t have a session tonight!” and now I’m starting to feel anxious even as I type this. Talk about a roller coaster all within about 4 hours!
Bed – Yep just as I suspected, Anxiety is Elevated right now, thinking about the session I didn’t get and how this weekend will be. Sleeping should be fun…not!
Coping Skills used today –
- Music – as usual, listening to Music throughout the work day and evening while driving or sitting at home.
- Reading – instead of a walk, I sat outside over lunch and continued reading, Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving.
- Reached out on Twitter and talked to my good friend @AthenaMoberg for a few tweets back and forth, which always makes me smile.
Distraction Skills used today –
Not much today honestly, which is quite odd, but the project was a distraction though for a few hours.
Random thoughts of happenings throughout the day –
Bought tickets to take the kids to see a Monster Truck show on Saturday night, not far from where we live. I couldn’t pass up the chance to hang with all 3 of them for the evening doing something we don’t do very often. We’re not huge fans of Monster Trucks but it’s still fun.
I’ve always wanted a nice aquarium, so I decided it was high time I treated myself. That’s why I needed the truck to go pick up the stand and the rest of the supplies. My youngest son and I set it up, filled it with water, and got the filter going awhile. No fish yet though (I’ll wait for my daughter and other son to come along for that). Plus I’ll have to let the filter run for a few days I think anyways. By the way, any advice is appreciated. 🙂
So as I sit here right now, finishing up this post on day 3, over all it wasn’t a bad day. Save for a few issues especially in the evening, I’m thankful it went as good as it did. Now though, I have to find a way to keep this anxiety down for the rest of the evening. I suspect I’ll be doing some reading, or perhaps writing some more.
Outlook until the next session –
Not real good at the moment. The elevated anxiety I can see possibly carrying into the weekend, since by now I’m usually done with a Friday night session and relaxing.
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My normal state consists of parts of the Yellow section. General Anxiety, Fidgety, Restless, Forgetful, Negative Thinking, etc. When I do feel Good, it’s only temporary. My mind is always on something. On a bad day I’m either into the red or right on the border of yellow & red
Good – Anywhere in the Green
Normal – Just into into Yellow, but knowing something could happen at anytime to send me into elevated status, is always on my mind.
Elevated – Close to border of Yellow & Red
High – Right on the border of Yellow & Red, if not just into the Red
Crisis – Definitely well into the Red.
