Home Childhood Sexual Abuse What it’s like to be me – Living with Dissociation, Anxiety, and PTSD

What it’s like to be me – Living with Dissociation, Anxiety, and PTSD

by Matt Pappas

So, as the website says, this is a therapy blog or an online therapy journal, whatever you want to call it. It’s my thoughts on a daily or at least weekly basis on navigating life as a 40 something man who was sexually abused by a neighbor/family friend, around the age of 10 years old and currently living life with Dissociation, Anxiety, and PTSD as a result.

I don’t know how many intimate details I will divulge on this site, I suppose that remains to be seen, but I will strive to be as honest and forthright as possible in my entries.

Anyways, I used to only write in a private online journal as one of my coping skills to help deal with the pain, flashbacks, and general anxiety that I feel on a daily basis. Writing has become a very big part of my healing process, slow as it is…damn is it slow!  Anyways, I feel like I need something else though, a way to keep moving forward and occupy my mind so as not to dwell so much on my pain.

So why would I write about it, especially in public, and expect to not dwell?  Well I’m using this website format because I do enjoy working on websites, and this allows me to express my creative side while still journaling to help work through my past on my own when not in therapy sessions.

I do have other coping skills that I use, which involve music, among others that I’m sure I’ll reference as time goes on.

So here goes nothin I guess…

The people that I reference here of course will be referred to as an alias, which is only fair. I too will be using a pen name…so you can call me…Lyric.

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2 comments

My story of survival from childhood sexual abuse on The Good Men Project April 4, 2016 - 2:44 pm

[…] a leap of faith, so to speak, and really put myself out there.  That’s how I felt with the first blog post here on Surviving My Past. And now that I’ve taken that step and many more since, I’ve began trying to get my […]

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All Good Things Come to an End, and Still Move Forward. - Surviving My Past March 2, 2020 - 6:01 am

[…] first post, “What it’s like to me be, living with Dissociation, Anxiety, and PTSD” was nothing more than dipping my toe into a larger world that would forever change my […]

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